Random points about library life. (Long. You've been warned.)

It was a crazy day, down at the library.  Not a bad day, just one of those strange times when the day becomes a cross-cut section of everything that library work consists of.  In keeping with this theme, here is a totally random list.  Most of these have happened today, though by no means for the first time.

I.  What?  Little Joey has to read "insert book title here" before school starts?  School starts next week?  He's known about this all summer?   What do you know, that's only the tenth time I've heard that today.  The book is on reserve.  You're sixth on the list.  Best case scenario, that's a three month wait.  More like four, with the time for reserve processing and overdues factored in.   May I suggest Amazon, and that next time Little Joey does his assignment on time instead of waiting for the last minute?

II.  Yes.  You have overdues.  No, you can't check out.  No, you can't use a computer.  Yes, you have to pay your children's fines too.  Sorry.  It's policy.  I like my job, and I want to keep it, so I have to follow policy.   Bring your books back on time, and this won't be a problem.

III.  Having said that, however, I do have a certain amount of lee-way to bend, stretch, twist, and darn near break rules for you if I really feel like it.  If you ask nicely, I'll probably do it.  If you act entitled, I probably won't.  If you're being crabby about it, I definitely won't.  Just saying - library workers like to be treated nicely too.

IV.  Books are not building blocks.  Please do not allow your child to build a fort with them.  Additionally, please do not allow your children to play tag through the stacks.  I am well capable of chasing down a five year old at full speed, but I really don't enjoy it. 

V. When a staff member (me) is sitting on the floor, surrounded by books leftover from the above-mentioned fort, attempting to put them back in order on the shelf from whence they came, please, for the love of God - don't approach me with "Do you work here?"  Obviously I work here, yes?  I don't mind answering questions, or showing you where to find something, that's my job - so please, just ask your question. 

VI.  Speaking of questions, it's fine to ask me about virtually anything.  I'm a library worker.  You can't shock me, I promise.  Even if, somehow, you do, I can promise you that I won't show it, and I'm not going to go blabbing about it later.  You can ask me to help you find books or info about drugs, alcohol, depression, divorce, abuse, medical problems that neither of us can spell, even - *gasp*  sex.  I promise.  It's fine.  It's my job.

VII.  -sighs-  Lady, please quit glaring at me.  I'm not flirting with your guy.  Seriously.  I'm smiling because A. that's part of what I do.  I'm front desk staff.  I'm the face of the library.  I smile.  and B. I'm happy.  I smile when I'm happy.  So sue me.  -shrugs-

VIII.  MySpace is blocked.  Period.  No exceptions.  And if I catch you looking at what I *think* you're looking at behind that Solitaire game - your computer privileges will be blocked too, so it really won't matter, now will it?

IX.  Please note.  Just because I happen to be sitting, and there is not currently a queue stretching away from the desk, wrapping around the new book displays, and back towards the children's corner, does not mean that I am not working.  You might note the large cart of books to my left, waiting to be shelved, and the equally large cart to my right, waiting to be taken out of the catalog.  You  might also note that I stopped taking said books out of the catalog, to scan you onto a computer so that you can play Farmville.  The sarcastic "working hard tonight, huh?" is not needed, thank you.  If you only knew.

X.  Incidentally, yelling at me will get you nowhere.  The more frustrated you get, the wider I am going to smile and the more calmly I am going to re-iterate the same policy I've explained five times already.  I know it drives you nuts.  That's why I do it.  Also, when leaving, you can save yourself the effort of the "well, I'm never coming back here again" parting shot. First, after the last 10 minutes of hell you've just given me, that's the best news I could have heard, and second, I know that you will be back in another year, thinking that maybe this time your fines and never-returned materials will have mysteriously vanished.   It's not going to happen, so please bring your checkbook.

XI. I will go above and beyond the call of duty to help you find something, if I have time.  I actually love to research, so I'll be happy to search out the one book in the library that mentions a certain fact for your paper.   If I have a line of people, two phone lines ringing, and a co-worker asking me "What does error XYZ.219 mean?" from across the desk, I can't do it right now.  I'm sorry.  Either wait patiently, or try the search system for yourself.  It won't eat you, I promise.  It's still full from eating the last kid who was banging on the keyboard as if it were bongo drums.  Oops, that was supposed to be a secret.... 


In conclusion however, I must say thank you to every patron that walks through the door.   If you're one of my "good", favorite patrons, you put a smile on my face, and quite possibly a new book recommendation in my stack of "to read" books.  If you're one that falls into one of the categories above, you've given me valuable blog material, a lesson on human character, and probably made one of my "good" patrons feel sorry for me.  Either way, without you guys, there would be no point in a library, and I wouldn't have a job. 

~Zahrah


Oh, you want to know why are there 11 points?  Why not?